I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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