I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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