I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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