dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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