i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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