I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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