i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
