You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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