I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
