well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
