But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
