so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
