i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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