Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
