I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
