i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize