It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
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His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
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UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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