Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
