there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
