I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
