i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize