im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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