yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
