meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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