WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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