did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
