I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
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The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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