I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.