I need to stop coming to work sober
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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