Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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