fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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