I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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