what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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