You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
