margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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