New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
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By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
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Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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