I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
