On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am naked and annoyed.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
