Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
