he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Umm I'm too high to move.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
