I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
love makes seman taste better
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
