We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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