I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize