Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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