Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
