Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize