can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
