So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
