I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
