If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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