There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
