she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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